TWAS a Few Nights Before Christmas
Christmas day is soon to arrive and my 3 doodle dogs have a heartfelt message to convey to one and all.We 3 doodles are not from the Orient. However we do bring gifts for all to bear. We are not aware of the true meaning of Christmas that humans have knowledge of and practice yearly. So instead we would like to tell you what Christmas means to our 3 doodle dogs.
4 Nights before Christmas is when MOM starts to make holiday goodies:
Max, our 17 month old Labradoodle weighing in at 85 lbs.
“Oh boy! Oh yeah!! Hey Peanut you smell that? Where’s mom? Peanut stop chewing that bone and help me out please. Beau please go and find Dad.”
Beau, our 5 month old Goldendoodle weighing in at 42 lbs.
“Why should I go find Daddy, let Peanut do it. Remember I have the soft ears and sad Hush Puppy Eyes which makes my MOM melt and no longer works for you Max, ha ha!
Peanut, our 12 month old Goldendoodle now down to a svelte 55lbs.
“Uh, guys remember I am the boss even though I am sweet as pie and everyone says I am the cutest dog anyone has ever seen. Remember people say my coat is ‘to die for!” So guys, forget about trying to distract me as I may be blonde but I do have brains! How else do I always steal your toys and bones away from you? Heh, heh, heh.”
MOM , which is me, the mother of 3 dogs that lately feels like I have a 3, 6, and 13 year old instead of 3 doodle dogs.“Max, Peanut, Beau…OUT, OUT, OUT! Okay if you sit and watch by the doorway and be good you can stay in the kitchen with me”, is what I say to them. I now remind myself not to turn my back for a second, take inventory on all cooking ingredients out like butter, molasses, and cookie dough making sure I push it far back as possible on the counter top. “Dave can you put on some Christmas music please as remember I have all 3 doodles with me now and they aren’t bugging you to go out or anything. Thanks Dave”. When a guy is lying on a couch with a remote in hand and has a full belly they need reminding at times with women’s logic as to why they need to get up OFF the couch and pacify a woman’s small sincere request to shut off their TV program which they end up sleeping and snoring through. When you try to switch the program or put on music, a man always awaken saying, “hey I was watching that”.
Yeah right, what through mental imagery in between checking your eyelids for holes and clearing your sinus passages via snoring? Men’s logic does not work on most women such as myself. Dave is a smart man as he put some music on and he can now go read a book while I have 3 pairs of eyes and 3 wagging tails behaving like 3 perfect angels in the kitchen with me.
NOW back to my dog’s meaning of Christmas or at least 4 nights before Christmas.I am taking out milk, eggs, spatulas, wooden spoons, 2 books with stained pages that fall out every time you open the book, granulated sugar, brown sugar, confectionary sugar, ginger, cream of tartar, molasses, tons of flour, pans, too much butter, walnuts, rolling pin, raspberry preserves, chocolate, raisins, and now I wish I just had a tall floor to ceiling Lazy Susan as my back is being bent every which way looking for measuring spoons, pans, cookie trays and the attachments to my Kitchen Aid Mixer. Ok now that my kitchen looks like a few of the grocery isles in a food store I am almost ready to begin. Pre-heat the oven and make sure the parchment paper is under a watchful eye every second and remember I have 3 adorable angelic dogs underfoot that could become devilish thieves at any given moment if I even blink long enough. I make a mental note to make sure the raisins and chocolate are high up as they are dangerous ingredients to a dog’s intestinal tract. And also try to announce this to my household.Ok, music is on, ingredients are ready, oven is warm, and everything is laid out in a somewhat fashionable order. Oh wait, I need the step stool to use both for sitting and to fend off 3 doodle dogs when taking out bon bons, fudge, molasses cookies, walnut fudge and more. Now I can finally start on my holiday baking. Not bad, it only took me 75 minutes to get organized without any mishaps so far and amazingly I have not tripped over a dog yet or stepped on any of their tails. And so far my house and cell phone are quiet with no one calling—yet.Max, Peanut and Beau are licking their chops, wagging their tails, one has a bit of drool hanging but they are all quieter than a mouse. They sit in anticipation. I really will believe they are being extremely good and will turn my back as all 3 can reach counter tops and give me “just checking it out Mom” look when caught. I just realized the lid on the garbage is open and close it immediately. Homemade fudge is done and in freezer with no mishaps. Now comes the fun part making bons bons in the world’s tiniest kitchen which is referred in earlier years as a “cook’s kitchen”. (Note: Dave always calls it a “ship’s galley” kitchen)
Max: “Mom can I take a closer look at what you’re putting on that tray? I promise I’ll be good. I will look but not touch or eat more than one”.
Peanut: “Mom, do NOT believe Max, he is the sneakiest one of us all and he doesn’t always drop it anymore to share with me.”
Beau: “Mom, do NOT believe them for one minute as I heard you telling Dad they cannot be trusted for one second alone in the kitchen. Now me, I am the innocent puppy who isn’t fully trained that you give clemency to if there is a sniff, snag, and gulp-it-quick mishap.”
I hear my dogs whispering quietly amongst themselves and do understand their body language but not their spoken language. I wonder what they’re talking about.
The bons bons are ready and ohhhhh do they smell good. I myself would love to try one but they need to cool off and be dipped in chocolate and walnuts. Also, I don’t feel like burning my tongue doing the “oh, oh, ha, ha, ahhhhh” and racing for some cold water where afterwards you can’t taste much for a day or two. No, I’ll wait for them to cool off.
Max says to Peanut and Beau: “Wait why are we being told to get OUT again? Isn’t this considered food and for eating? That’s okay if they’re hot we’ll sit and wait for them to cool off. Besides, aren’t you supposed to taste one to make sure the came out ok? So why is she not lettings us help her out? Doesn’t she love us? Ok, time for plan 1 to take effect :Give the soft sweet head tilt with the saddest eyes you can muster up and sit really straight and don’t whine yet.”
I take out the bons bons and put them high up, turn around and trip over Peanut as she sat too closely behind my feet. I quickly get my balance without dropping the cookie sheet.
Max: “Oh great Peanut, good move! Now we’re being made to go back to edge of the doorway of the kitchen again. Why do you always do that?!”
Peanut: “Do not worry Max, if we lie down quietly we’ll be back allowed in the kitchen in a few minutes and I didn’t do it on purpose you know. Beau I want you to walk up beside Mom in about 3 minutes when the mixer is on again and sit real good giving her a few kisses with the cute sad puppy look”.
Beau: “Just tell me when okay? As this is one my best qualities that works on Mom most of the time.”
Max: “Beau, remember NO whining and NO jumping or you’ll ruin it for us all. I know you can do it buddy, I have faith in you. I’ll tell you when so just wait for now.”
I now bring out the step stool to sit on while all 3 doodles lying quietly snuggled together and this makes me smile. They all are being so good and it is so nice to see them bonding together. “Dave do you see this? Max, Peanut and Beau are so cute, come see this and do you mind bringing me my step stool so I can sit while making cookies as my back is beginning to hurt. Thanks honey!” I do remind him he has had almost 2 hours without doodles left alone in peace and quiet. He brings me the step stool eagerly.
The way I make homemade fudge is almost too easy. Put all ingredients in a glass bowl and put in the microwave for a few minutes then take out and stir thoroughly and pour into a pan. Lastly put it in the freezer for 45 minutes to set. Now to-date I love molasses cookies but never made them. And considering the other night I ate almost all my neighbor’s while having a visit with them, the least I can do is make some and replace them.
No one tells you though that after mixing and making the dough for these cookies that you have dough to bake for an army. Or in reality, it makes about 5 dozen medium sized cookies. Good thing is that they bake in 12 minutes, cool quickly and your house smells great! While making these types of cookies is fairly easy keeping 3 doodles dogs in check and balance isn’t as I found out this fact firsthand.
Max: “Hey guys, what is she rolling in her hands then in that white stuff ? I need to get a closer look. Beau, come on buddy; move over a bit will you? And Peanut did you really lose 10 lbs? Cause your butt really is still in the way. Remember Peanut, Mom does not give you any treats due to your diet. Beau your tummy is too immature to handle any of this stuff. It will make you really sick, so please stand back ok? Thanks.”
Beau: “ I was here first Max, first come first serve and eat your heart out cause MOM is giggling how cute I am with my head resting on her lap and being the perfect puppy right now.”
Peanut: “Max that was not a nice thing to say to me. See if I share my bone with you again. Beau, you know you always lose it and start jumping up on Mom as you get too excited and then get in trouble. So guys, I’ll just be patient as you both lose it around food and I know how to remain cool, calm and collect. Max, for your information the other night Mom gave me a piece of cheese when you both weren’t looking.”
I now proceed to roll these brown molasses balls in sugar and place them on a baking sheet. They’re in the over and time to do the next few dozen and once again my doodle dogs talking with each other.
Max: “This is too much for me guys; the smells are driving me crazy. How can you stand it? I have to figure out a way to just smell, maybe LICK one and exert control over my desire to STEAL and EAT ONE NOW!”
Peanut: “Max, calm down buddy, Mom will sooner or later mess up and turn her back trusting us as she just told Dave how good we’re being. And look at her, she is getting tired now as it’s almost 9:30pm. Don’t worry; mom will have a blonde moment soon. So if you go for it NOW you’ll ruin it for us.”
Beau: “Wow I have so much to learn from you guys to become the master of deception and thievery in this house. Ok if I sneak up on mom’s lap and act puppyish and loving do you think she’ll get distracted? You do know that she is softer on me than you both.”
Peanut: Beau your ego is too big for your head, Mom is stricter with you because she trusts Max and me since we’re both mature now. I’d lay low otherwise you too will ruin the right moment to get some cookies.”
Max: “Peanut I sure hope you’re right because I am beginning to drool again. Look at Beau; his is almost touching the ground.”
Peanut: “Guys stop drooling! If Mom sees that she’ll know for sure we’re ready to break! Cool, calm and collect is the way to be.”
As my doodle dogs talk quietly their secretive canine language I begin to roll out the last 2 dozen molasses cookies and roll them in sugar. By now my kitchen is a mess with flour scattered on the countertop, somehow Max has confectionary sugar on his face, there is vanilla extract droplets on the butcher block and my hands smell like molasses. BUT I am not wearing an apron and so proud of myself this time as I am not wearing half the stuff I mentioned on my sweater and pants. Even my big basketball slippers are devoid of any baking ingredients! However with 2 sheets of cookies cooling I am running out of space in my tiny kitchen. So what do I do? I take the molasses cookie sheet and put it on the step stool to get my oven mitts so I can now put the last batch in the oven. Unknown to me are 3 doodle dogs carefully watching and calculating their goal: to have just ONE molasses cookie dough ball! Yes folks, I just had the blonde moment that Peanut predicted earlier. (If you ask me, she’s a smart dog for a being blonde).
In a split second all 3 doodles scatter forming a semi-circle with my senses being in the twilight zone. And before I could register what was going to occur the next event unfolded quicker than you can say Jack Robinson.
Max: “Ok guys; watch me because here I go. I know how to play this one just right and remember Mom thinks I am the best behaved one of all 3 of us. This is going to be so worth it! Even if I do get sent to my crate I’ll have tasted one of these cookies she’s been making for over 2 hours.”
Peanut: “Max you better make sure you drop some to share with us”.
Beau: “Peanut, do you really trust Max that much?”
Peanut: “Beau, I’ve known Max a long time and we’re best buds. To-date he’s never let me down yet. Then again this is the first time I’ve seen Max having trouble keeping up his composure. Oh, now I am not sure Beau. Keep your paws crossed”.
Max slowly walks past me and the step stool. I figure he is being really obedient and figured out he isn’t getting any holiday baked goods and going to see Dave in the living room. Dave usually has snacks after 9 pm sitting on the coffee table. Max’s is about 70% past the step stool and I turn around to make sure I know where my other 2 doodles are when I hear that LOUD Click sound of teeth. I stand there in shock for about 1 second before it registers; Max has stolen a molasses cookie dough ball right off the cookie sheet! Shoot! And then I do the infamous quick thinking maneuver and yell real abrupt and loud, “ MAXXXXXXXXX! NO!” I scared the heck out of Max so much that he dropped the molasses cookie ball whereby I said “STAY” and promptly picked it up and threw it in the garbage and remembered to close the lid. I failed to tell many of you that I originally started with brunette hair color …so I do have some smarts left in my blonde moments.
Mom: 2 points! Max 0!
Peanut and Beau both get 1 point for not attempting the same dare devil feat of thievery.
Peanut and Beau stand there in shocking disappointment with the saddest looking faces I have seen in a long time.
Peanut: “Uh, Max, what happened? You know you really blew it! And now none of us have a chance of getting any cookies cooked or uncooked.”
Beau: “Max, not to rub salt in the wound as I am still quite young but you really messed up big time. Mom got you good! If you could have seen your face hahahhaahaa I though you were going to poop right on the floor you were so scared!”
Beau cannot stop laughing and Peanut joins in (and so do I).
Max: “Real funny guys! And I wasn’t scared one bit! I was being good and listened to Mom. And who thought Mom would have caught on so quickly. You have to give me credit, I almost fooled her completely! I just have to figure out how not to make my teeth snap and click so loud. And I didn’t see either of you taking a chance like I did. Besides, Mom just gave me all the attention telling me what a good boy I am”.
I now realize I almost had been had by one smart thinking doodle, namely Max. Why the other 2 doodles didn’t try this is beyond me. Had they tried the tray would have fallen to the ground and each doodle would have had success. I mean they were good as gold for almost 3 hours smelling all kinds of wonderful goodies baking and then cooling off on the counter.
Dave, my son and I had a good laugh over Max’s close win, as they say, “Close by no cigar”. The look of shock on Max’s face when I yelled his name still makes me laugh! His eyes got as big as dinner plates, he lost his concentration and well the cookie fell right out of his mouth when his jaw hit the ground.
I did commend Max with a big hug and kiss feeling bad for scaring him so badly. Once again I got a good laugh and Dave got a few good pictures of this story.
Moral of the story: there is none. Why?
Because I am too busy eating some of my bon bons and molasses cookies with 3 doodle dogs sitting at my feet. And I will not turn my back nor get up and walk to the kitchen for a glass of milk either as I am too busy guarding my plate of goodies. And I need to prove I do have some brunette smarts to my family and myself.
And the gifts that my 3 doodle dogs bear that aren’t from the Orient are: unconditional love and laughter. Christmas to my dogs will mean love, hugs, kisses, laughter along with some bones and squeaker stuffed toys which they will discover Christmas morning. And all the loving attention they will get from Dave, my 3 teenagers, myself and any other company that may visit during the day.
Merry Christmas! May you all have a happy, warm, fun-loving holiday season filled with an abundance of good memories.
Enjoy and God Bless!
Sincerely,
Max, Peanut, Beau and family
The contents of this blog site are copyright (c) 2007, Annmarie Sparks. All Rights Reserved
December 23rd, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Funny wonderful Christmas time story Annmarie
December 24th, 2007 at 8:03 am
Well said. I would be happy to read anything else you might contribute on this subject.
January 16th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
thank you both : )