Ramblings of A Labradoodle Owner

Somewhere, somehow I lost my sanity completely this past year. I thought 18yrs of marriage, 3 kids in 4 years, in-laws, a divorce, and then teenagers would do me in. No, somehow I managed to maintain some sanity and dignity too. I forgot to add I have a fiancé, Dave. Things also got a bit easier as Max and my kids were getting bigger. So what do I do? Well it’s like having an ice cream sundae with the hot fudge, walnuts, whip cream and now let’s put the cherry on top and add a tiny bit more hot fudge on top to complete it. Yes folks, I got another doodle, however this time I got a Goldendoodle. I swore I wasn’t going to get another dog, but I did. So instead of having 1001 reasons why not to get a dog, I ended up getting two. Dave always had golden retrievers growing up and is now in seventh heaven. So am I as our Goldendoodle doesn’t shed at all.My breeder had a litter of puppies at the end of November 2006 and for some reason I really believed I could help her socialize the Goldendoodle puppies and NOT come home with one. I am either softening up or had one of my more disillusioned moments in life for sure.  I would like to add that I am also happy I cannot have children anymore as babies are just as contagious.Weekly I help out my breeder, holding and playing with these tiny bundles of joy called Goldendoodles. Then I get to thinking maybe Max does need a playmate. And why wait till Max is a year old and grown up, why not do it now. Have 2 puppies close in age, meaning total chaos like I did with 3 kids but when they mature things tend to get calmer. I mean why would you want to raise a puppy into adulthood and start over again, right? This is where I believe I lost all sanity or what was left of it. My new motto in life is “I lost my mind but I am having too much fun not looking for it”.

Two to three times a week I drive the 4 miles to my breeder’s residence where I had gotten Max. Once again I set forth with what I thought I wanted but with a few changes. I wanted an older puppy this time as Max was much easier to train at 13 weeks old. The reddish puppies were really gorgeous especially with their wavy coats. Another laid back male would be nice as I heard female dogs aren’t called bitches for nothing. And last but not least, the temperament must be sweet, submissive and an easy going like Max.

So for the next 4 weeks I have this chunky monkey, roly poly, red puppy picked out. I ended up calling him Tonka as he was just like a Tonka Truck: nice, sturdy, durable, and could push his way through anything. He was a huge, red,   ever so laid back Goldendoodle. Even the breeder agreed that Tonka would be an ideal match for us and Max.

Now there was this cream to golden colored female I nicknamed Peanut when she was only 2 weeks old as she was the runt of the litter. At 3 weeks old, Peanut was a Lewis and Clark expedition gal being the first one of the litter to explore everything around her. Peanut was not afraid of anyone or anything.  She walked tall as she could and proud as well.When only 4 weeks old, hoses used to water the horses were to be held back by Peanut, sinking her teeth into it and holding on for dear life. Didn’t the horses realize Peanut was fierce and brave saving them from a water hose death? Peanut turns into ricochet rabbit: Bing, bing, bing— she was off running and bouncing about the barn independently.

Kinetic energy was Peanut’s middle name. I always commented how cute she was but the breeder and I agreed she would be too much for me as I wanted a more laid back puppy and preferably a male again. I did my best not to pick her up, always saying “Peanut honey, you are so cute and I’d love to take you home but you have too much energy for me”.Peanut never took this rejection as a personal insult, instead she always was the nice female puppy making her way to the front to say ‘Hi, pick me, pick me”.  Somehow she never fought with her littermates as her stance and sharp bark alone made her littermates back off. But it was also like you could hear her say, “Look, Annmarie is here again and I must say hello to her. Excuse me, excuse me, thank you.” Somehow she always managed to get right up front. The few times she didn’t, Peanut had a way of jumping up in the air without knocking any other littermates over, making sure I noticed her. You could hear her quietly going “Hi, pick me, hello, pick me”. Peanut from day one made sure she was going to be our newest addition. I just didn’t know it at the time.

One day I thought I had the other cream female puppy asleep inside my coat for over a half-hour. The breeder finally said, “You do know who you’re holding don’t you?”  I looked down, it was Peanut!! I almost shrieked and put her down so fast! She had gotten me lock, stock and barrel! She had finally succeeded in making me fall head over heels in love with her.

Long story short, Dave and the boys wanted a female puppy. And have heard many times that female gets along better with a male dog. However, I always had male dogs; I didn’t know much about female dogs. Next thing I know Peanut acts like the perfect puppy around all of us now when we all visit weekly. I am a woman so you think I’d know a thing or two by now about females.

Finally I agree to think about Peanut but still had my eye on the roly poly red puppy. Peanut has so much energy yet acts submissive around me and so sweet. Knowing the breeder prefers to keep the puppies with the litter until they’re around 10 weeks old, I figure I have time to think this over. Or was it to rethink the insane decision to add a second puppy into our life? Did I mention we had “pick” of the litter.

Somehow the mild, almost nonexistent, winter here in Western, NY took a turn for the worst. Temperatures were going into the single digits with wind chill factors to be enacted like a cold artic tundra simulation. My breeder called asking us to take our puppy by Saturday. It was Thursday and Peanut was only 9 weeks old! I wasn’t ready for this puppy this soon. Needless to say Saturday morning at 9:30am we showed up to take home Peanut, our kinetic energy puppy. I don’t remember the exact day but it was in early February, a nice sunny but cold and snowy day.

Once home, Peanut was just the opposite of Max. She didn’t stick by my side being a shadow attached with Velcro. No, our little princess Peanut had to explore every nook and cranny. And the cute puppy soon became an energizer bunny that had too many quarters inserted into her back.
 
Now Max, Peanut’s half brother, a huge, black, 50 lb, overexcited 7 month old Labradoodle puppy was waiting to find a squeaker toy inside her. Even worse, he licked her to death, nibbled her fur, and could put her whole head inside his mouth doing his own version of the circus lion trick. Max became turbocharged with happiness and refused to settle down. Peanut was now rethinking if SHE made a mistake picking us as no one told her about Max. I figured we were even now. She fooled me into thinking she was a sweet little angel and I didn’t warn her that she would not be an only child in our home.

Week one: Peanut finds she can nip and tuck then run under my dining room chair for safety as Max could not fit under it. Max thought of Peanut as a new battery operated toy scooting across the floor. This was going to be fun folks as never a dull moment would be had in my household again. We also found out why female dogs are called bitches. Peanut, is one and does that, when tired. Nap time restores good humor back into Peanut, most of the time. You see, Peanut had to learn Max was bigger and just wanted to play. Her real frustration grew partly out of being tired. The other part was for her to teach Max that SHE was going to be the boss which wasn’t easy to teach to him since he was a ‘whatever” attitude type of male always coming back for more. Nothing Peanut did fazed Max in the least. And at times he would just put his big paw on her and hold her down for a few seconds. You could almost hear the Mutley giggle under his breath while Max kept the ever so innocent look on his face, giving me the infamous male “What?” look.We set up a puppy kennel for peanut. This way she could play yet be watched at all times. I knew we were in trouble on the 3rd day we had her. She somehow managed to escape 3 times one morning with me chastising Max. Seriously, how can a 9 week old puppy move a kennel and get out without some help from another dog, namely Max. The 4th time this happened I turned around just in time to see Peanut climbing up, over and out of a 2.5 ft high kennel like a person climbing a ladder. I didn’t know a 14 pound puppy could climb. I do now. The next day Dave made the kennel 4 ft high and felt quite proud to outsmart a puppy. This lasted maybe a whole hour. Yes, Peanut was caught climbing up and out of the now 4 ft high kennel. Crate training began that same day. But I am NOT going to say with total success.A few days later we were to learn Peanut was part Houdini as I awoke one morning to find her and Max playing in my bedroom. I will admit I wasn’t fully awake and thought how cute they were till I realized they were both loose while I had been sleeping. Dave happened to have called right at that moment, and I proceeded to ask him why in his right mind he’d let a 10 week old puppy be loose with no supervision with Max, a 7 month old puppy.  Dave replied, “Honey, she was asleep in her crate when I left for work this morning. In fact, I didn’t walk either dog as they were both asleep.” I immediately got off the phone as shock now set in. I raced them out the door for the morning potty walk come in and set out to find my supplies for accidents.

Warning: Labradoodles are very addicting! After a few months of owning one, you notice signs of being a Doodleaholic. You are not of a right mind when you begin to think of owning two! By now, you have joined some dog club via internet and either do doodle romps, try to meet people with other doodles to play with your doodle and your teenage kids now tell you that you love your Labradoodle more than them. Or perhaps you stalk others when walking their dog going, “Honey, look there’s another Labradoodle. Come on, if we walk quicker we can catch up to them.” I do believe that is called stalking. Doesn’t matter, what matters is you alert for anyone else that has a doodle dog and share in the laughter and love they create.

Think about it, kids take how long to mature about 18 years or so, versus a dog taking maybe 2 or 3 years to mature. Maybe my kids are right when they say I love my doodles more than them.  I’ll have to think more on this one. Okay, I’m done, yes it was quick.

Kids do not pick clothes up off the floor where they drop them. Dogs pick up socks, shoes, shirts or anything they find on a floor. Kids leave dirty dishes in their rooms. To this day I wonder how many new forms of penicillin are yet to be discovered in a teenager’s bedroom. Dogs are great at cleaning dirty dishes.

Kids get driving permits. Parents and dogs suffer in the backseat tucking their heads down in order not to see the near misses with other cars.

Kids break curfews coming home late at night with you waiting up worrying to death and wanting to kill them the moment they walk in the door. Dogs bark letting you know when kids come home after curfew. I love when my teenagers are busted by a puppy.

Dogs don’t complain about their picture being taken or how it makes them look. Okay they may lick a lens but at least they are willing subjects.

Kids have fist fights and if one is a female then holds a grudge for weeks or possibly for months. Dogs can have a fight establishing who the boss is and that’s the end of it. Dogs do NOT hold grudges. Ever get mad at your dog? And how long before they are trying to give you kisses? Or just walk out of the room and walk back in a minute later only to see your dog wagging its tail happily to see you again. Teenagers are like women, they bring things up from the past— dogs don’t (perhaps that is why dogs are called Mans best friend).

Kids do not take their dishes off the table when done eating. My dog, Max, not only eats everything, licking his bowl clean, he also promptly brings his food bowl putting it on my lap after each meal.

Kids hate vacuuming. Or if they say, “Alright, I’ll do it”, then they proceed to suck up anything in sight except the dogs usually clogging the vacuum in the process. Dogs are better than vacuums finding each and every tidbit, gleefully using their tongues to lick up findings on the floor, don’t clog up and don’t break belts either.

Dogs do not ask for money, or to use your car, and don’t argue with you. Dogs can be crated for timeouts. Crate a kid and you are charged with child abuse.

Dogs can be taught to ring bells to go outside and don’t leave doors open, rather they can open doors. And if they jump on the door, guess what—they’ve just closed it for you. Teenagers need revolving doors especially when they have friends over leaving the door open during winter, each time heating the great outdoors.

Kids help create dust bunnies, dogs find them wearing them on their noses letting you when it’s time to dust again.

Teenagers do not answer the door when someone is knocking but dogs alert you to every person not only at your door but also every UPS and FedEx delivery in your neighborhood. Now I will admit I do love all 3 of my teenagers. But when dog chews a sock it can be thrown out and easily replaced. When your child puts a hole in plaster walls, breaks an antique crock, uses your wooden spoon to make wooden dowels for a project, eats a whole half gallon of ice cream you bought 24 hours ago, well there are days my priorities of human versus canine love, does get rearranged into a different order: dogs being at the top of the list with my teenagers following in order of what stress they have created for that particular week. I am just being honest and do not play favorites until my spare car is missing along with a teenager that didn’t ask first along with not calling home to check in.

There are a few similarities between kids and dogs. Like I said, there are just a FEW.

Both can and will waste toilet paper and paper towels. Messes made by teenagers are done by “Not me” whereas dogs usually conceal theirs digestively whenever possible.

Both can make you laugh, both need guidance. However, dogs mature much quicker and will do tasks repeatedly for a treat. Teenagers do things when they know you have threatened their life or take away car keys.

Kids are trained for years yet do the same things over and over again. Okay, how many times has anyone heard a parent saying, “How many times have I told you….asked you…” etc. Perhaps even your own parents stated the same to you at one time? Dogs can be trained and show results if consistent with them. Kids don’t do this till they have their own kids and/or own their own home.

So when asked by my teenagers if I love my doodle dogs more than them, there have been moments when  I do have a tough time answering as if I reflect long enough they may be right! I have been raising kids for 19 years now and they have yet to mature. According to statistics, dog books and owners the average dog is an adult when 3 years old. 

So YES there are days my doodles LOWER my blood pressure and my teenagers make it so high I could probably swing a big ole mallet and ring the bell at a carnival.

I LOVE my dogs, I LOVE peace and quiet; I LOVE how my dogs greet me whether I am gone 5 seconds, 5 minutes or 5 hours. I LOVE my teenagers but some days I do question if dogs are better for my health.

The contents of this blog site are copyright (c) 2007, Annmarie Sparks. All Rights Reserved         

NOW that I have your attention, you are probably wondering what “Phfffft” means? Well I no longer do. Phfffft means run for cover IF you are lucky enough to hear this sound when it comes from your dog. If you don’t hear a “phfffft” sound, then it is called a ”SBD”: silent but deadly. Still unsure of what I mean? SBD and phfffft means your dog has just farted and usually does this sweet act when company is visiting your household.

Last Thanksgiving my parents and brother were driving almost 6 hours to stay with me for a whole week. I was so excited! They never visited that long before and finally could meet Max, our cute 5 month old Labradoodle. However, Max had been having digestive “issues” with different dog foods which I failed to mention (to my family). At the time, we were trying a new natural dog food that was working well except for one problem: Max was beginning to toot daily now. What did we do? First, we cut out ALL treats and bought Fabreeze to “clear” the air. There was one problem though, Dave and my teenage boys were beginning to rate them! Okay, this may be funny to some but to a woman this was horrible. How could anyone find this funny let alone rate them like it was the Olympics? I really wasn’t finding much humor in my house smelling like a bean factory. 

Solution: find another brand of dog food since I really believed Max once again wasn’t digesting some ingredient properly. Action: forget to buy new dog food and continue cleaning your house for the arrival of company while spraying Fabreeze. 

When I do housecleaning somehow I get sidetracked and what started out as simple straightening up and mopping ends up where I wash every piece of clothing, tablecloth, towels, anything in sight that is worn, sat at or slept on. Oh wait, I just saw dust bunnies, off I go on another tangent—here goes 2 hours of dusting and polishing furniture. Then I sweep and vacuum. For some reason I then think, “Oh now I have to do the bathrooms”, out comes Mr Clean, then Orange Glo for the laminate floors. Somehow running to the pet store to get new dog food gets forgotten. Why? Because after cleaning everything in sight, I realize I have to get started on acorn squash, pies, and whatever else we women feel the need to make the night before Thanksgiving. Thus, my parents and brother are due to arrive any minute and Max is now delivering SBD’s at a more frequent rate and I am furiously spraying every room with Fabreeze while Dave and my teenagers are giggling.

My family arrives and within 10 minutes of being in our house Max is letting one rip every 5 to 10 minutes for the first hour. Each time we would move away, sometimes to the next room, to no avail. YES, Max followed us each and every time.  I would nonchalantly spray the Fabreeze acting like nothing out the ordinary was going on and ask my parents to continue talking. Finally, we could not take it any longer and I sprayed Max with the Fabreeze!  By now everyone was holding their stomach in pain from laughter. This went on for 4 days nonstop. YES Dave and I managed to go to the store and purchase a different brand of dog food. Needless to say during my parents’ visit we used over a half a bottle of Fabreeze in my house. Max was a big hit in more ways than one. The jokes that erupted when Dave and I tried to state that Labradoodles do not have a “doggy” odor, always smelling fresh and clean amongst their other admirable traits, fell on deaf ears. We couldn’t be heard above the sound of laughter coming from my whole family. 

The other good one is when you are watching a movie with 2 teenage boys, a fiancé and our doodle, Max. One night I kept saying, “OK who did it? I want you to stop right now and also leave the room. That is not very nice you know and really bad manners.” So we go through the “Blame Game”, accusing each other to releasing a SBD, with everyone laughing so hard saying, “I didn’t do it”.  Seriously, these were real bad! Tears would come to your eyes, blankets had to be held over heads to find fresh air, and yes laughter erupted spontaneously. What we didn’t realize was that the SBD culprit was laying on the floor by our feet. Okay, I had switched Max onto his new dog food so I figured it wasn’t him—-wrong! Because when we finally were all silent we could hear a little “phfffft” and I start the “Blame Game” again. This went on and off for approximately a half hour. Finally, we look down and hear Max going “phfffft ”. Once again I was on the mad hunt for the Fabreeze as maybe they weren’t that silent this time but they sure were deadly. Eventually, we found the right dog food for Max. The Fabreeze bottle is gathering dust at the moment, thankfully I might add. 

My family and I now find other ways in life to obtain laughter as Max tolerates his food quite well. SBD’s are no longer a daily event from Max. However, every so often I do hear the “phffft” sound. Seems last Christmas, Dave thought it would be funny to buy my teenage boys a fart machine you hide under a chair and activate with a remote control.     

The contents of this blog site are copyright (c) 2007, Annmarie Sparks. All Rights Reserved.